Healthpark Chronicles

It's strange to see the same people here everyday and not have much info about them.  The woman across the hall looks so much better then before.  I want to tell her.  The man on the other side and I have an intimate relationship based on looks.  We eyeball each other constantly.  My chair is situated in such a fashion that he see's me and I him when he is in his chair.  He is very self conscious about his gown.  Constantly checking his leg area to make sure our relationship doesn't hit the next level.  There has been a family here everyday.  I believe their situation is very similar to ours.  There is a mom and dad plus two kids.  It's hard to have "fun" in a hospital.  The kids are fairly inventive much like my son.  They were pretending last week that the silver bar above the glass wall was their ballet bar.  They both had their shoes off and were twirling and twisting.  It gave many families a smile as we all waited for news of our loved ones after various procedures.  The mom looks like I feel.  Her eyes are so sad.  She tries to smile for her kids and remain upbeat.  She and her husband have exchanged some harsh words.  It's hard for everyone.  The husband tries to help but I can tell that she would almost rather be alone.  I understand.  I long to be surrounded by the people I love but not in this situation.  I feel like a burden, like a crybaby, like I need to suffer alone because if I do maybe somehow things will change.  Maybe some miraculous thing will occur and because I have been so strong and not asked for help and not freaked out and not sobbed on my knees......just maybe I will earn her more time.  It's so unrealistic, so out there, so wacky but it feels right for right now.   So I go with it.